wish i was kissing you instead of thinking about you
In response to bullshit Anons.
Ladies and gentlemen, one of the world’s most pressing problems has finally been solved. There are now fully edible cupcake wrappers. Sorry to those of you who were hoping for world peace or Segway 2.
Hervé Moreau and Natalia Vodianova at Palais Garnier. Photo by Annie Leibovitz
Hey, guys. I’ll get to everyone’s messages throughout the week. Just answered one or two as a healthy distraction from things.
Thanks for being patient x
Oh, man. I had to really think about this. I don’t have a favourite, let alone can recall a whole list off the top of my head. But thought of two that are pretty good.
1. The Quickie from ‘Last Tango In Paris’ (1972)
Not the buttered up anal sex scene. That’s a tad on the rapey side for my liking, but the initial meeting in the first 10 minutes of the film. It’s about two people who have a sexual relationship for a few months after meeting at an apartment that is for lease. It’s a little French, it’s a little english, it’s Bertolucci. The scene in question is basically these two people having completely anonymous sex with this underlying primal lust. It’s not overly graphic, well…there’s some snatch action at the end, but it’s just the idea of this alpha male sweeping this woman off her feet after knowing her for all of two seconds, I mean…they don’t even flirt. Nothing. And he takes her over to the corner, rips her pantyhose, and has his way with her. And she bloody loves it. By the end she just rolls away from him still revelling in an orgasm. It’s fucking weird, but it works. Plus, Brando speaks French so I’m a sucker already. The whole film is quite erotic and enjoyable. Catch the whole thing here with subtitles. The scene in question begins around 13:50 I think.
2. Nymphomaniac Vol I & II (2013)
This movie is less about sex and more about the journey of Joe, a nymphomaniac who loses all feeling in her genitals, and how she leads this life of obsessive iniquity and moral uncertainty. There are sexual encounters littered amongst the film that do delight and also provide a bit of comedy, but there is one scene in particular I find most powerful. What I like about this particular sex scene is that it’s not really very sexual at all. Well, depending on what you like. It’s about the vulnerability of the protagonist, Joe. She goes to see a man who specialises in BDSM to try and regain feeling in her genitals again. Basically women come in, get strapped to a couch in the most god awful uncomfortable way, and then he will do a variety of things to them in order to warrant a sexual response, among them is whipping with this giant fuck you cat-o-nine tails looking thing. For some reason women bloody love this. I can barely manage missionary. But also, Jamie Bell is hot as shit in this fucking film. It’s hot. But this almost self-flagellation and pain is what turns this scene into something else. She gets off without his permission and she’s a little rogue. I suppose it’s best in the context of the film, but still people will enjoy it.
You can see Vol II here. Scene starts at around 55:00…ish?
The other sex scene is in Vol I at 1:45:58. This one is FAR sexier. Stunt penises are a go, but damn. DAMN. LIKE FUCKING DAMN.
the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again